My room smells like vodka and shame
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You are a genius and a whore.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
