last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
