Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
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