i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
