You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Can I color on your dick again?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
