The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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