just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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