somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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