i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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