would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Is Oprah even human
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
