is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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