I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
