What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
