I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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