I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My ass is underappreciated
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
