Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize