I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
