i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize