I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
