Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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