Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
