is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
