im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
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