the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
