just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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