i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize