...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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