:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
