Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
