I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
