there was a trapeze. enough said
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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