I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
