This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
