Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
