Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
