He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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