every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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