Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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