Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
