i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
