Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize