Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Send help, water and tortillas.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
