I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
