This girl is more easily done than said...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Im just a social blackout drinker.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Blow job season was short but glorious.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
