i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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