We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
