She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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