Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is it because I queefed?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
