omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
