i think my tv is drunk
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
