Umm I'm too high to move.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
