Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
