I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
