belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
