fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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