We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize