I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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