it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
