were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
