So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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