the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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