She said her name was "party"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
