She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
