Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
