I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
