I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just want nice things and good sex
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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